It was close to two years of paddle boarding before I finally had to bail off a body of water because of bad weather. I took my first spin on a paddle board on Chestermere Lake on May 23, of 2024. It wasn't much of a paddle, to be honest. I mostly floated around uncomfortably, afraid to move in case I fell into the drink.

You wouldn't know it from this site, but I am VERY phobic regarding water. That's because I technically drowned at age twelve. The camp counselors fished me out of the deep end of the pool, got my heart going again, and my relationship with water was forever changed. I can get onto a river or lake, but there is always an initial panic attack to tamp down. The difference between what you feel and what you know, right?

I have gone from being scared to move an inch while floating on calm water to enjoying paddles through sketchy weather when the water is dangerously cold. Oh, and I do this solo because I'm an idiot (being honest).

The good thing about the, er, bad things I have done on a paddle board for the past two years is that they have taught me my limits. I was just past the halfway point around Sheerness Cooling Pond when a vicious wind came up and absolutely broadsided me. Worse, it got me right when I was going through the nastiest part of the body of water, where the cooling water exits from the Sheerness power plant and causes dangerous undertows. A really crappy place to get flipped off your board.

There was a genuine danger of that. First, the wind was hitting me on my beam where I have the greatest exposure profile and the least stability. I am grateful I bought the wider than usual board, a cheap Aquaplus would have dumped me. The second issue was my paddle. It is an Outbound paddle, and that brand is complete shite. They make the $3 pieces of junk thrown in with a just as nasty board to make you think you're getting a good deal. The thing is too short and the blades are badly designed. No bite. I had maybe a third of the pulling power I normally do with my Pelican Symbiosa kayak paddle I normally use.

Five minutes of fighting the wind and I knew I was going to go into the too cold water sooner or later. Probably sooner. I fought my way past a long stand of trees I kept getting pushed into and my fin repeatedly fouled on the roots of. I finally found and pointed my board to the first good spot to disembark I came upon. I took a minute to calm down, then pulled my board out of the pond as you can see. After that it was a 4.4 km walk back to my campsite to get my truck.

Would I have made it through if I had my better paddle? Doubt it. I'm getting pretty good on a board now, but a 90 degree cross wind is the worst one to fight. You don't want to exhaust yourself and then wind up in the drink anyhow, but now without reserves to cope with the cold reflex gasp and approaching loss of function. It's always best to get off the water on your own terms.

I had to leave the board and come back for it as there was no trying to carry it in those gusts. Cheers to Lloyd, the security d00d from Transalta who helped me retrieve my board from behind the plant. I appreciate the consideration I received and Transalta is getting a signed print hand delivered at some point this summer.